Home

I took this spring's first bicycle trip yesterday. It was around 8pm when I left, grey as usual, but no rain anymore. All in all, conditions usually not considered beautiful. Yet, I was filled with this sensation of taking it all in - every single image. Like I was the only one to find this secret world of beauty just outside the city's reach. It's so easy to get caught in our own lives, to follow the same old patterns in our very own marginal safety zone. But how much do we really know of this city? How much are we missing?

Some years ago I would have said I hated Oulu. Then time passed. Somehow, almost accidentally I became to know more and more of this place. New situations tossed me from Kaakkuri to Pateniemi and everything in between. I took great joy in reaching these locations on my own. Every trip was a small adventure, always finding some small street with unseen details, like patches of color on canvas. Little by little the picture grew clearer. Instead of random colors, I started to see patterns. There is something in knowing what lies behind regular routes. This is where you start to feel the real character of the city become alive. The hidden aura, the sense of dreamlike familiarity is what makes a city feel like home. It is dense in meaning, retaining sense of adventure - the mystery of unseen places. It grips you and makes you want to find out more. And the more you find, the more you see and hear, the more this place feels like home.

Changes

You know how sometimes you get the feeling that things are going to change. I have that feeling now. But is it just some kind of fake optimism? I know I've felt like this before, and what followed was not earth shattering. Maybe these moods do lead to something new. Not necessarily the life altering reformation of all Ninety-Five theses, but let there be at least one spark of something new.

The biggest obstacle is overcoming yourself. How hard it is to find yourself following the same track all over again. But it's going to change. I've got it all figured out now. Tomorrow this time I'll probably have succumbed back to my usual self. But just maybe I'll have a bit more determination to get where I want, and the realism of what lies between now and then.

I was listening to "Will Ackerman - Conferring With the Moon" while writing this. I highly recommend this album.

What a pickle

I got a phone call today. It was a friend who needed help. I need to cover her at camp, because her evil teacher said she cant miss any classes next week. I was only supposed to work at one camp next week - starting from wednesday, but instead it all begins tomorrow.

I get more money and I get to stay one camp ahead of Kirsi, not mention it's always fun to work at the camps. So.. where's the pickle? I'm going to miss quite a few lessons next week. On top of that I'm still in the middle of writing these internship applications to all sorts of places. So the pickle is: I need to finish my applications today - or should I say tonight, as the evening passed watching my first play (Kuinka äkäpussi kesytetään) at the theater. By "my first play" I dont mean to imply that I wrote it - moreover I think this is the first "real play" I've been to. Hence - My First Play.

I'm supposed to be writing something else now, so what am I doing here? I guess this proves I'm serious about this blog. (can I ever say that without lauging?)

I think it's very fitting to refer to these difficult situations as "a pickle". I do hate pickles, so I dont like to be in the middle of one. But what if the person who came up with this meaning loved pickles? Instead when facing some tricky situation we'd all say "what a tomato!" .

There's something to think about when you try to fall asleep tonight.

I probably will not write anything next week as I will be working the whole time.
Wish me luck.

Good night.

In the beginning there was blog

So what am I doing here? I'm not a blogger. And that's not even a word.

I've never considered myself a man of many words. But I guess I want to explore the world of writing for some reason. Might that reason be that I want to publish my important thoughts to the deafening silence of multifaceted interweb - or simply that I want to improve something about myself? Well, I guess that's something I can ponder on while I drink my daily dosage of Finrexin and listen to Gustavo Santaolalla.

That's right. I have been sick for the past few days. I think it's because I have not been ice-swimming. You read it right - because I have NOT dipped myself in that freezing river. I promise to shape up and indulge my wish to freeze my extremities soon. You're welcome to join me!

At first I thought I'd write this blog secretly. And silently hope that someone I know accidentally stumbled on my ramblings and realized - "That's him! The guy I know." but I guess I'm more of an attention junkie than I realize. Well, to be frank I do realize it.

So what is this blog?
A few possible answers:

1. An excercise for me. I want to explore the writer in me.
2. A showcase on how many nice words I know - or found from dictionary.
3. A secret window on the secret life of Mr. Underhill.
4. Yet to be determined.

I have to acknowledge two people who have inspired me on starting this blog.
First. Gabor.
Second. Juanmi.
You guys were the only ones to react on my attempt to create discussion on the nature of Facebook - self-exposure of one's "private" life into a public forum. Thank you guys.

In "Semantics of life" I will dwell on some of the following issues:

Photography
Movies (that I've watched or want to watch)
Music
Lack of music
Self-appraisal
Self-loathing
The lyrics of Alanis Morissette (and how she frequently uses contradictory terms)
Drinking alcohol (or not)
Social life
Academia
politics and other not interesting topics

This is my first post.
So say we all.